Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Did good today

I used 2 or 3 of my weekly points, ate well. My dad made chicken and shrimp stir fry tonight, which was reasonable points even with some rice. I made a smoothie for breakfast with yogurt, soy milk and frozen fruit, and I also had a protein bar. For lunch I had Annie's Peace Pasta and Parmesan and half a large apple. I had a peanut butter protein cookie and four Thin Mints as snacks. And after dinner I stewed some frozen berries with a couple teaspoons of sugar, a little corn starch and some ginger and shared with my mom and daughter. I put a bit of whipped cream on top too. I overdid it with the ginger and it was a little spicier than I'd have liked, but not too bad anyway. We watched the original True Grit on TV. My daughter loved it.

I haven't been away from m boyfriend for more than 3 days and I miss him. He is flying in on Saturday. I am worried about him because he is diabetic and has had an ulcer on the outside of his foot for months. He has been going to the doctor once or twice a week the whole time and has been on loads of antibiotics, but despite that he had a bone infection (it's now cleared up) which basically destroyed his little toe and it got fractured. They don't think it will be able to heal due to the past infection, and the ulcer isn't healing because of it. He will see an orthopedic surgeon on Wednesday, but right now they think his little toe and part of his foot will need to be removed.

He lost 60 pounds after being diagnosed and is now off the insulin, but he had had it for so long when it was discovered that there was already severe vascular damage. He is legally blind and has had seven eye surgeries to restore his vision as much as possible, but it's very poor. And now this. I feel so helpless. He's only 34 and I worry he's going to lose a foot or lose his sight completely, or die really young.

I don't know what I would do if I lost him. He's such an amazing person. He's kind and sweet, affectionate, level. Great sense of humor, good kisser. He works his butt off, and has been shouldering more of the bills while I'm out of work without complaint. He says that's just part of being in a relationship. He takes good care of himself (what is it about guys and refusing to go to the doctor?). Even my daughter loves him and he's taken her on with an open heart. I see the kinds of bullshit many other people put up with in their relationships, and I feel so lucky.

We've had some trials. Some major ones that I truly don't believe many relationships would survive. But we look at it as something we have to get through together, and that's the important thing. He's been firmly committed since pretty much the first day. I have always known where I stood with him. No games. No playing it cool. What you see is what you get. It's so refreshing. I've come to believe it's partly because he's from the South. I never understood the appeal of Southern guys, and now I think I get it. He's a Democrat too so I get the best of both worlds. :P I don;t know, there's just something so pure about his soul, so genuine. I have to admit, I still feel all mushy every time I get a text from him, even if it's just to ask me to pick him up something at the store or whatever. I can't wait for him to get here.

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