Spinning my wheels

I cannot seem to get it together. I start out the day planning to eat healthy but then I just completely dissolve, sometimes before lunch even. I feel horrible. My whole body aches. I am bloated beyond belief, and some of my pants are too tight. The ones that were previously loose, most of them just fit now. For every time I turn down the opportunity for junk food, or even just choose something lower in calories, there are three more times that I just plain don't. I know a lot of this is only water weight, but I also know some of it definitely is not. I am not sure why it has suddenly become SO much harder. I don't know how to fix it. I am even trying to make baby steps (not count points but try to eat more produce and limit junk food) and even then I am failing. I feel very out of control right now, and I'm not happy.

In other news I am looking into making a career change in the next few years. Possibly sooner. I have been a manicurist for 7 years. Though I like it, it is physically taxing. It's getting harder on my back. I'm tired of being in pain by the end of the day half the time. I had thought about doing floral design before but I had a client once who did that, and I decided against it. She said she loved her job but it's also very physically demanding. Her hands were also very rough and calloused from work, and that would drive me totally nuts. I am now thinking about body piercing. I guess you just have to do an apprenticeship here and then apply for your license. I am not all that keen on another student loan (just throw it onto the pile with the other two!) so that appeals to me, and I'd even make at least a small income while training.

I like working one on one with people, and I think I'd be fine with stabbing people with needles. I also gauged my ears out to a 0ga at one point, and have some experience with that. I let the holes shrink back to a six after a few years. Otherwise I have no other piercings, but there are a few I wouldn't mind getting. I don't exactly fit the image of someone who works in the body art field though. I have one small tattoo that is usually covered by my clothing, and have no interest in piercing anything other than my ears. Actually I think snake bites look kind of cool, but only if you are under 25. Lol. And I know my boyfriend would hate it if I did that. It's not really me.