Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Weigh in tomorrow

Tomorrow is a massively busy day. I have a dentist appointment at 9:00 AM for three more fillings. I have to pick up more painter's tape and roller tray liners. I have to go to my Weight Watcher's meeting. I have to refill my prescriptions. And I have to go grocery shopping. The best part is that none of the places I have to go are near each other. I'm going to be on the bus a lot tomorrow. I hope the weather is decent, since I will be walking quite a bit too, but right now the forecast is not looking great.

I am feeling good about the weigh in. I think I should have at least a small loss. I should feel better about it than I do. I'm starting to wonder when exactly I stop seeing myself as a fat person? I feel like I'm always going to be a fat person. I often feel like my goal weight is too high, even though it's a few pounds under the lowest weight I have ever maintained without starving myself. Even though just getting there is probably going to take me until the end of this year because it's just coming off so slowly. I know that part of it is the extra skin and fat that just isn't all going to go away. Even if I lost 30 or 40 more pounds, it will be there to some degree. I see pictures of women who have lost twice as much as me, and don't have that big hanging lump of fat on their arms. Soon it's going to be hot outside again, and I get to choose between burning up or being self conscious because my body parts don't "match." Yay.

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